Sorry if you were looking for a Flash Gordon-esque adventure across another dimension. Instead, you have fallen for Java’s head fake and an elaborate set-up for one of his “leopard’s suck” strips.

While researching the difference between jaguars and leopards I found that their hunting methods are very similar. They both attack from stealth and are excellent climbers (ninja cats). However, since leopards live in places that also have lions, leopards sometimes will drag their prey into a tree so that it isn’t taken away from them by the bigger cat. This includes prey up to the size of small giraffes. Which to me sounds pretty bad-ass, but is yet another point of ridicule for Java to use against leopards.

Maybe I should lay off his crusade against leopards, I don’t want to lose readers because they think he’s a bigot. Really, he’s the Archie Bunker of his generation of felines.