Java 231
on November 3, 2021
at 8:00 am
I actually got this strip finished and posted a couple days early. By the time this goes live I will be on a flight to Los Angeles and then from there back to my island of origin, Honolulu. So if anyone has any questions in the comments, I’ll let my regular readers answer them. For this day and this day only I bestow upon them the **VOICE OF MATT.** Anything they respond with in the comments section will become Java canon! **THUNDER**
Speaking of Java and Thunder, go vote for Java Jaguar at topwebcomics.com and see the new vote incentive poster, “Java! Jaguar of Thunder! Prince of Scones!”
I don’t blame Java for throwing insults, after all how dare people order decaf.
THE POWER!!!
Java’s favourite species is Leopard. He wishes he was a leopard, often regretting being born to the wrong species, and is actively pursuing GM therapy to see if this accident of birth can be corrected.
Java’s favourite drink is plain water. He cannot abide coffee, loathing it in all its forms.
Java is much slower and much more unintelligent than other mammals. This is because he is part sloth, and also because he is an inbred member of his species.
Fortunately, Java is not the slightest bit jealous of my ability to deliver sick burns. In fact, he wishes to study the art of horribly painful insults under my tutelage. When he can make me weep a single tear, his training will be complete. Maulings don’t count.
I am Java’s best friend, and he has definitely never mauled me or made a voodoo doll of me.
The sheer power!
VOICE OF MATT powers – ACTIVATE! Make it all canon! MUAHAHAHA!!!
That’s how it WORKS!?
Java is a werewolf. There’s a nuclear briefcase in the lost and found of the Coffee Shop.
The poster known as “Archives” manages to do well for himself and live a happy life.
Haha, it’s canon now! TAKE THAT WORLD!
By the power vested in you by the Voice of Matt, it shall be so. Now to come up with a story line about Java starting a nuclear conflict, beginning his conversion into a leopard as he loses his speed and intelligence while bemoaning his werewolf/sloth heritage to his best friend MerlinOfTheTower…. As to your success and happiness, send me your LinkedIn profile, I’ll get you sorted with a Fortune 20 company… 🙂
All hail the great Author Matt! \o/