Java 275
on September 28, 2022
at 8:00 am
It’s National DIY Day!
This week, everyone gets to build their very own Java Jaguar strip!
Just write your dialog down in the comments section and become a Java Jaguar writer! It’s way better than working for Marvel or DC! Much better than becoming a Scottish Laird or Lady. Totally better than sex!
Ok, everyone… go nuts!
Best comic strips get Kick Points and/or Java Bits!
Full disclosure: It is not actually National DIY day.
I must have miss the message on what Java Bits are. Anyway, I’m trying to come up with some dialog.
Java Bits don’t exist yet, but when they do, they will surely be more valuable than Kick Points!
Slight heads up. I don’t know when you help your friend who lives in Washington (state), but my favorite coffee place told me that the Marionberry scones are a seasonal thing and are not available. Hopefully you can visit in the summer time and get one of these wonderful treats.
Alright, let’s give it a spin.
1st panel
Matt: Java, there’s a bunch of carved rocks in the back room.
Java: It’s part of my new business plan…
2nd panel
Matt: Well I need you to get your NFT pile out of the backroom. It’s blocking the fire exit.
Java: …Sure they’re a worthless currency, but we’ll trade it for something equally intangible.
3rd panel
Matt: And what do we do with this worthless currency?
Java: Souls Matt. We use it to buy souls.
P1
Matt: You’ve been unusually quiet today.
Java: I’ve been thinking about what to do next with my life.
P2
Matt: Really? What prompted this?
Java: Jaguars are born to roam. I think it’s just my base instincts, the call of the wild.
P3
Matt: Any ideas where you may head?
Java: I’ve heard about a city in need of a hero…
Panel 1
Matt: T-shirt sales are down.
Java: Already handled it.
Panel 2
Matt: Do I really wannna know?
Java: I bribed the producers in a local news network to force their news anchor to wear one.
Panel 3
Matt: For how long.
Java: Until it catches fire.
(See Kickman 10/2/22 strip “Psyops 1”)
….Pardon poor punctuation (and annoying alliteration).