Java 371
It’s all basic genetics really. Magic-Userness is not a dominant or recessive gene. It is a double-negative gene. So if two parents are magical, the offspring are non-magical. Maybe Merlin of the Tower could elaborate on that subject for the rest of us muggles.
What’s a poor half-jaguar, half-vampire, half-rakshasa to do?
Also… this might be the most important and vital use of Chat GPT ever in recorded history:
“write a humorous song. Just about 4 verses. About a cub named Lucian who is a poor half-jaguar, half-vampire, half-rakshasa who has none of the powers of his vampire and rakshasa parents.”
“Lucian the Powerless Cub”
(A Humorous Song)
Verse 1:
Lucian the cub was a funny little guy,
With a jaguar’s spots and a rakshasa’s eye,
But when it came to powers, oh, what a shame,
He couldn’t even grow fangs or breathe a little flame!Chorus:
Oh, Lucian, Lucian, what’s a cub to do?
No vampire bite, no rakshasa view,
Just a clumsy kitty with a lot of pride,
But all he really wanted was a power inside!Verse 2:
He tried to hypnotize, but the mice just laughed,
He tried to phase through walls, got stuck in the shaft,
His parents said, “Son, you’re one of a kind!”
But Lucian just groaned, “I’m lagging behind!”(Chorus)
Verse 3:
He tried to grow claws, but they wouldn’t stay,
Tried a vampire’s charm, but they ran away,
He wished on the moon for a little dark might,
But all he got back was a mosquito bite!(Chorus)
Verse 4:
But then one day, while feeling quite blue,
He realized there was something he could do,
He made all the creatures laugh till they cried,
Turns out Lucian’s power was his wit and his stride!Final Chorus:
Oh, Lucian, Lucian, you found what’s true,
No vampire bite, no rakshasa view,
But with humor and heart, you stand tall and wide,
The funniest cub with a power inside!
I think that’d be just sarcasm, since there’s no causality for irony. Not that I expect Java to care, since all of this is delaying his next cup with a scone.
I’m not sure I get irony. Which in itself is ironic, because I just wrote a joke about irony.
Right?
Example of irony: You want to keep something secret, so you kill people who know about it. Other people investigate the dead people and learn about the secret. Your efforts to protect the secret directly leads to the secret being blown.
Oddly, the song by Alanis does not contain a single instance of irony.
Which is ironic!
…right?
Is Java making friends? Go for some scones and talk of options.
If Lucian drinks coffee he may become more powerful than Darth Vader can possibly imagine!
But not as powerful as Girl Genius on coffee….